So here is a great exercise I learned at a Tara Brach conference. Tara Brach She is truly an amazing teacher and human being. This exercise is a great way to feel Enjoyment and Pleasure. It is also a great exercise to deepen loving bonds with partners, children, friends, family, etc. And, of course that will also increase your Pleasure.
EXERCISE: TELL ME WHAT YOU LOVE!
Try this experiential exercise 1-on-1 with someone you love or desire to grow closer to, a partner, child, or friend.
1-Sit facing each other at a comfortable distance and set a timer on your phone for 2 minutes.
2-Decide which person is going to begin as (A), the Questioner and who is going to be (B), the Answerer.
3- (A) makes comfortable eye contact with (B) and using their name, asks this question. “ ______please tell me what you love?”
4-(B) provides a one word, or a one sentence answer of something they love or really enjoy. I.e. “Nature”, or “Being with you”, etc.
5-(A) registers that they heard this answer with a nod or a thank you, and then pauses for a few seconds and then asks the same question again…___ please tell me what you love?
6- (A) asks the same question, and (B) answers over and over for entire 2 minutes.
7- PAUSE and both A & B check inward with bodies and hearts and notice how the process has shifted any feelings, emotions and sensations so far.
8-Then you switch roles, set the timer for 2 more minutes and (B) begins asking (A) the same question. “_______ please tell me what you love?”
9- Again, PAUSE at the end and notice the pleasure, feelings and emotions this connection has generated in both of you.
10-There is no cross talk or commenting on the other person’s answers, you are just witnessing each other sharing what they love and increasing your emotional resonance. Which is very Pleasurable.
Please give this and try and let me know how it goes. Couples who do this on a regular basis have a deepened connection and build up their Couple resiliency. This resiliency which helps balance out the effects of the normal relational conflict we all experience. And, kids love this one.
GOING DEEPER
- What was that exercise like for you? Was there any discomfort in the process? Sometimes intimacy is difficult even though it is what most of us long for in a relationship.
- Which role did you enjoy most? What was the difference inside your body and heart when you were the questioner? When you were the answerer?